we pray only for those who welcome our prayers
notes on humility
Today, I attended a service in the Mayacamas Mountains. The minister, wrapped in white robes and soft beads, took prayer requests from the congregants.
An attendee asked for healing in her relationship with her mother. The leader paused and asked, “Would your mother want to be part of our prayer today?”.
I was surprised. What a beautiful question!
The minister noted later, “We pray only for those who welcome our prayers.”
I don’t know the intention and boundaries of this guidance. It holds a tender wisdom. I imagine the person I pray for sitting in the room with me. Would they feel loved? Would they feel honored? This is a healthy test of my respect.
As a child, I was surrounded by prayers for sinners, non-believers, gays, unwed mothers, etc. I regret I took part in such sanctimony, no matter how sincere. If the subjects of our supplications were with us, many would have felt violated and shamed.
The belief that we know what others need is a sickness at the heart of Western Christianity, and perhaps society aswell. The sincerity of these prayers belies their violence. Our willingness to force a “right way” of being in the world ravages our communities and spirits. Who knows the right way to be male? Female? Sick? Human?
We suffocate our diversity. We fear our neighbor. We disembody ourselves.
All belief systems - be they spiritual, educational, political, etc - are vulnerable to the seduction to claim the truth. It takes humility to return to the place of not knowing. “This is what I believe and hold gently” does less for the ego than “I know the truth!”. It takes labor to stay curious.
Prayer is one way we can practice nonviolence and curiosity.
Let the ground continue shifting under your feet. Each day, the world preaches a new gospel. Trade not the sensuous wisdom of the body for dry words and lost prophets.
How do I pray for the current US President as he rains bombs on the people of Gaza? How do I pray for the last, and perhaps future, President as he foments hate? If they were sitting with me what prayer would they welcome? Where can we stand in integrity as we see and appreciate one another? These are not easy prayers. They emerge slowly from the boundaryless place within.
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California - July 2024
Notes - Prithiviraj A is at https://unsplash.com/@prithiviraj